Love..An emotion. Love a thing that someone shares with another, but for me I think love should only come in the family type of ways. No, no one broke my heart. But something tragic happened to me, that made me realize the guy that I loved since the first grade was too late to tell him how I felt. And anyways, he didn't like me. He had his eyes on another woman. Elizabeth. We're both now in the 10th grade.
In Ms. Honey's English class. We had always had English together since the 1st grade. And who is this I'm talking about? Well, this person is none other then Mitchel Musso.
You don't know who Mitchel is...
He happens to be the most amazing, handsome guy in the whole wide world. Well, not in the whole world there are some other good looking men.
He has the shiniest chestnut brown, wavy, long hair. Something I wish I could feel when he lays his head on my shoulder or head. His brown eyes, don't get me started. I wish I could swim in them, but then I wouldn't be able to leave. He was white, skinny, and well..fit!
I sat there, thinking... Elizabeth is so lucky, to have a guy chasing after her like Mitchel Musso. She had long, red hair that went down to her back it was straight. And she had green eyes. And tan skin.
She was talking to Mitchel. I started playing with my short black hair, I had red eyes. Strange, yes I know. But I always hated the other guys, and with my red eyes it made me feel more dangerous, and stronger.
No one had messed with me since!
Oh, Mitchel won't you be mine.. I thought.
"Alex," yelled our teacher, Ms. Honey!
"Yes, Ms. Honey," I replied.
"Care to come up, and share your poem..."
"My poem, right..."
I got up, and walked up to the front of the room...
Mitchel looked up and stared at me...
Then I sighed, and turned to my teacher.
And said, "I'd rather just give it to you, and turn it in.."
Elizabeth giggled.
"Alex," she said in a growling voice!
"Okay..Fine." Sigh..
"This poem is called This Lover."
This Lover,
he runs far away
I search for him
But hes so fast
No one can keep up
My heart beats fast
And no one can tell
who he truly is
But me
I've been in love with him
Before I knew what love is
Maybe even before i was born
This love of mine,
Can't you feel the love I share.
I want to tell you..
So badly.
That I love you.
Everyone clapped, but Elizabeth. She sat there with her arms folded, giggling.
"That's the most stupidest poem I've ever heard," she said out loud.
"Elizabeth! That's not nice," said the teacher.
"Who cares," Elizabeth replied.
I sat down to my seat quickly, and quietly.
Mitchel turned and looked at me, and said, "Well...I thought it was beautiful! The best poem I've ever heard!"
Elizabeth gasped. "It sounded bad!"
"IT WAS GOOD! AND WE'RE THREW HERE!"
Mitchel looked at me, and whispered, "sorry.."
"It's Ok" I mouthed to him.
He smiled and turned around..
I wondered what it would be like to have a guy like Mitchel, or just Mitchel to fall in love with...Shortly, after I got up to sharpen my pencil..But, I fell to the floor. And Elizabeth laughed.
Mitchel got up, and Ms. Honey wasn't in the class. "Alex, are you okay?" My vision came back into focus, and spun my head around and saw Mitchel. "Are you okay," he asked again, more worried? "Ya, just got a little dizzy that's all..."
"Okay, class. What's going on," said the teacher then noticing me on the floor? "She got dizzy, and fell," said Mitchel. "Do you need to go to the nurse?" "No, I'm fine...Really?" I got up, but fell back down. "Mitchel take Alex to the nurse." "No, really I'm fine..." He picked me up, and walked me to the nurses office...
We walked into the nurses office, and the nurse checked my temperature. I was running a fever, but Mitchel was by my side. "Mr. Musso, could you please go back to class and get Alex's things...Something's telling me she's going to need to go to the hospital."
Mitchel rushed out of there as quickly as he could...
"What's wrong with me, nurse?"
"Million of things could be wrong, sweet heart, but I don't know...So, what's your mother's phone number?"
"890-0985-3219," I said...
She dialed the number.
"Hello, this is Nurse Joy at East Numberland High School. I have your daughter, Alex in here, because a student told me she felt dizzy, and fell to the floor. And she's running a fever of 102."
I laid down on the nurse's bed thinking, what's happening to me? What could possibly be wrong with me!?!
Then, Mitchel walked in, and put my things next to me. "Thanks," I said. "So, is she going to be okay?" "I don't know, Mr. Musso. I don't know."
He started to walk away, but I grabbed him. A tear escaped my eyes. "Please don't go!"
He stared at me, letting out a heavy sigh.
"I--I'm s-s-scared.." "Okay.." He sat down next to me, brushing my hair out of my face.
Just like I would imagine the way, it felt. His hands touching the roots of my hair..Looking deeply into my eyes.
But the location wasn't what I had in mind. But it didn't matter. As long as I was with Mitchel, I knew I was in love with him...
Shortly after, my mother arrived...
And Mitchel stood up and said, "well this is it then...Good luck!"
He gave me a hug, which shocked me a whole lot... For once, it felt like Mitchel was finally into me. He whispered, "here, when you're out of the hospital..Give me a call..I wanna tell you something."
"Okay. Thanks, Mitchel."
Mitchel helped me walk over to my mother, making sure I wouldn't fall over again. Then he helped me with my stuff. And we all walked out. We split up I went to the exit, and Mitchel headed back to Ms. Honey's English classroom.
I wish I could've stayed forever in his arms..Or near to him, but then again..I had to go, it was for my safety, and for my health.
Mother helped me into the car, and together we drove off to the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital. "Millions of things could be wrong with you sweetheart." the nurse's voice echoed inside my mind, making my surroundings very unpleasant.
It's probably nothing... And besides you got Mitchel's phone number...And he wants to tell you something..Maybe, its that time!
Maybe, he's realized his true feelings for me..He probably wants to hate me, but doesn't want to cause a scene or something.
"Alex Evans," the doctor called. Together, me and my mom walked back. The hospital smelled of weak, sick children...
The frightening beeping noises, the nurses and doctors rushing in and out of places. The place was jammed.
I kept my mind focused on one thing..The love of my life. The future of me becoming Ms. Musso!
They asked me question about my health and what not..And did some tests. It was a few more hours, until the doctor came in and told my mother to step out.
They talked quietly far away from the door, "she's got cancer."
Mother gasped, "no, not my baby! She can't have it! Doc, I.."
"I know this is hard for you, but we need to remain claim when we tell her...Is her father here?"
"No, I'm just a single parent. I'm the only family she's got!"
"Alright...When you're ready to take Alex home, I want you to keep in mind that I'd want her to go home and pretend like you don't know anything about this..Just resume regular actives."
"Resume regular actives!?! But, she's my only baby bird. How I'm I suppose to resume something so simple when something's not okay with my family!"
"Please...Just do this for her..This maybe the only year or two she'll have left to live."
Mother sighed, "Okay."
They walked in and claimed me down and glently, and carefully told me that I was diagnosed with Cancer.
Hours passed, and it was already time for me to leave..
We arrive home around midnight..
Mitchel's probably asleep. And I shouldn't wake him..But, he's probably worried about me.
Open the piece of paper, and on the paper it had something on the counter of the paper. It said::
Call me anytime, I stay up late..I mean late almost like 2:30 in the morning. I'd stay awake just to tell you, this secret I've been longing to tell you.
I sighed.
And called his number.
Mitchel answered on the other line, "hello?"
"Hey, it's me..Alex."
"Hey..So are you okay? What happened? Are you sick?"
Wow..3 questions in just one phone call..wow!
"I'm fine.." I lied.
I'm not fine, I was just diagnosed with Cancer, and now I was lying to my lover, and future husband, Mitchel.
"I took some tests..And everything went...ok."
"Okay?"
"Yeah, fine...Understand?"
"Yes. I want to tell you something..Something I didn't tell any other girl that my eyes caught upon..."
Oh, no!
"What's that?" I said trying to sound cheerful, more then nervous, and afraid.
"I like you..I mean, I really like you..In fact, I never felt this way before..I wanna be more then you're friend, Alex."
Tears fell down upon my cheeks.
"Mitchel...Are you saying, that you're...You like me like me?"
"Yes."
"I don't know what to say...Other then I liked you too..."
"Really? That's great..So maybe we could go..."
"But.."
"But what?"
"I know you're gonna ask me out, but Mitchel I have a lot going on in my life..And a boyfriend wasn't what I had in mind..Don't take this the wrong way, I like you..And you're a great guy..It's just I need time to think.."
"I didn't overwhelm you or anything? Did I?"
"No..I've been in love with you since the 1st grade..What makes you think you'd do something like that?"
Oh, boy! I covered my mouth. I just told him my secret. I should hang up right now. But my hands wouldn't budge.
"Great, I'm not alone...I loved you too, since the 1st grade," he said softly...
"Mitchel..I--"
I wanted to tell him the truth, that I had cancer..But the heart aching pain..Wouldn't let me, I couldn't let him cry. I loved him, but then again..I shouldn't.
"I gotta go..I'm tired.."
"Okay..Bye..Love--" But Mitchel paused.
He was confused, and lost in our conversation over the phone..I couldn't let him feel embarrassed. So for once I did something nice to a boy, that I've never done..
I promised Mitchel I would meet him at the mall. We were close friends, but Mitchel was starting to bum me out! With his consent flirting, then acting like he didn't realize that he was flirting!
The acting like everything was fine, when I told him to stop. I could easily tell that I was making him depressed, and a bit mad...But he wasn't the kind of guy, who would turn against me, and start beating me..
He wasn't abusive. He was kind, cute in annoying, sort of way.
He was wearing a white T-shirt, black tie, and a black jacket with no sleeves. And a nice pair of jeans. Unlike most celebrities, most wore jeans with holes in them..
He looked handsome..I gasped.
He was drop-dead handsome. I looked at him, imagining what he'd look like in a fanasty-chick flick book.
His hair blowing in the wind, walking up to me..Then his lips would attach to mine. The birds chripping, and fireworks crackling in my ears. It was like music to my ears.
"Hey," he said, neverously..
"Hi," I repiled.
"So...What do you want to do first?"
"How about we go into a jewelery store," replied Mitchel?
"Okay?"
We walked into the store. He stood there, watching me. It felt like he was checking me out in a strange stalkerish way.
My eyes caught something..A diamond heart necklace. It was really expensive.
It was on a chain necklace. Mitchel realize I was looking at it. "How much," asked Mitchel to the casher?
"For what?" Asked the casher? "The diamond heart necklace."
"Ahh, good choose. That's going to be $100.00 dollars."
Mitchel sighed. Looking at me. Then I finally said, "You---"
"I'll take it," Mitchel interrupted.
Mitchel payed for it...
I walked out of the store, and sat down on the bench..I felt sick, like the way I was in the classroom but much worse..
Mitchel walked out with the small box. "Here's your...Are you okay?"
He put the box down on the bench.
I started wheezing, having troubles breathing.
In, out, in, out.. I thought.. I couldn't do it!
"Mitchel," I screamed!
My eyes closed, I was scared. I was trying to stop from crying in front of him. But closing my eyes wasn't helping. "Alex, what's wrong?"
"I can't breathe, call my mom.." I cried..
"Call her..My cellphone's in my right pocket. Dial 7!"
He did what I told him...He called my mother, and she was on her way..
"Hold on...Hold on.." My head laid on his shoulder. Crying..And gasping for much air as I possibly could.
I have to tell Mitchel, he's going to find out sooner or later...
My face was pale white, when my mother arrived me to the hospital, and Mitchel wanted to stay by my side.
I knew he was crushing on me for a long time, and now we may never be together! I gasped, "Mitchel..There's something I need to tell you, that I wish I did.." The nurses were coming to rush me back there. "You can tell me when you get back..You're gonna be ok," he replied, tears falling down upon his face. He tried to stop them, or hide them.
Minutes became hours. Hours..And so many..
3 Hours later..The doctor finally came out..
"Is she going to be okay," asked Mitchel? "Afraid not, the cancer's..."
"Cancer? She never said anything about having cancer!" "Well..She has it, and she's not going to live much longer..The cancer's spread too far..And she's no longer able to breathe really well...She's suffering..If you want you can go see her." "Um..No.." said my mother sounding sad. "I think Mitchel, should be there for her for her last minutes..."
Mitchel smiled.. "Go on, hurry!"
The doctor walked Mitchel to her room, and Mitchel called out to my mother, "thanks! Ms. Evans!"
They walked into my room..
"You found out?" I said weakily. "Ya...Why didn't you tell me?" "I guess, I was afraid to..I didn't want you to worry, or cry..Instead I waited the last minute to tell you.." "It's okay..I think I'll be ok." "I know you'll be okay. I know you're strong. I love you Mitchel."
"I love you, Alex."
"Mitchel, there's one little thing you can do for me.." "What's that?"
My face was sweating, I was probably running a fever now..
I gasped, "kiss me." He sat next to me, trying to hide his tears again. I touched his shoulder. "Kiss me.." I got weaker.. I wanted to feel his lips before the end of my life.. Mitchel lean in, and stared into my eyes. "For you, my sweet." He kissed me on the lips. It tasted sweet like candy..
He contuinted kissing me, until I couldn't feel it anymore. And my last heartbeat had came...
Tears dripped down his face..As he kissed my forehead, and my hand. "Rest in peace..." He got up, and walked to the door.. Looking back... "I'll never forget you.."
And so, he did.
Years later..Mitchel couldn't stop thinking about me. He did his school work, but his grades were lacking. He had me on his mind.
So he wrote a message in a song to me
'Cause I die a little everytime I think about you!
